A Letter About My Exploding Toilet

To: #######'s Customer Service

To Whom It May Concern,

My brother Carlos thought it would be funny to hook my brand new American Standard toilet bowl up to a high pressure water hose and blow me off in my darkest moment.  Now the video is all over the internet.  Please let me know how this is even possible.  He said someone at your store in Wentzville, MO gave him the idea.  Is this typical for your employees?

Thanks,

Brad Fith

***

From: Lori L.
To: Brad Fith

Good Afternoon Brad,

I'm very sorry to hear about this experience. Our employees do provide assistance with our products. The issue you had is not typical advice that we would provide to our customers.

I've forwarded your e-mail to the Wentzville, MO store management team for assistance. They'll contact you within 24 hours via e-mail.

If you have additional questions or comments please reply to this e-mail.

Thank you,

Lori L.

######'s Customer Care

***

Lori,

Thanks you for your assistance in this matter.  However, I am less interested in the employee and more interested in how I can get back at my brother Carlos.  He is the one to blame and he is completely mental.  I would like some ideas on possible ways I can return the favor.  If this fellow has anymore brilliant schemes or thoughts on pranks it could help me out.  Please brainstorm as I am drawing a blank.  I am quite handy with tools so the sky is the limit.  All ideas would be much appreciated. 

Thanks,

Brad Fith

***

From: Stephanie

To: Brad

Brad Fith,

We apologize for your experience, but unfortunately this situation doesn't involve #####'s. Please let us know if we can be of future assistance.

Stephanie #######

ASM Administration

######, MO Store ####

***

From: Brad

To: Stephanie

Hi Stephanie,

"How did you learn how to do that?" I said as I was disinfecting myself after being covered with toilet water.

"The guy at the hardware store," Carlos said while he was holding a video camera and laughing at me.

Brad Fith

***

From: Brad

To: Stephanie

Stefanie,

I just wanted to give you an update.  I have finally gotten my revenge on my brother for his heinous prank.  Since you were unable to help me I asked the guy at ###### who gave me several good ideas.

I built a Mobile Homemade Pie Shooting Cannon in my basement.  When Carlos came over last week it worked like a charm.  I shot 453 home baked pies at him, his car and several dozen at the Swiss Nazis' house across the street.  He was covered in pies, bleeding and completely humiliated.  It didn't stop there.

He also hates snakes.  While he was away for awhile I built a large Snake Dropping Device in his house, directly over his bed to be exact.  This device is motion operated and was programmed to go off a few seconds after he went to bed. I filled the device with several dozen little snakes I bought from various pet shops across the St. Louis area (none poisonous).  It was also very effective. The snakes fell directly on his head while he was trying to watch an episode of The Cosby Show.  He screamed like a little baby.  Ha!  He says he is still finding snakes all over his house.  I have both these incidence on digital video if you would like to see them.

I am writing because I have a feeling he will be back over there looking for more ideas to get me back.  Please tell your employees not to assist him.  He is very crafty and resourceful.  Please give me some assurance.  I haven’t been able to sleep.   

Thanks,

Brad Fith

***

If Lowes Can't Help Perhaps ######### Can

To: ########## Customer Service

To Whom It May Concern,

My brother Carlos thought it would be funny hook my American Standard toilet bowl up to a high pressure water hose and blow me off in my darkest moment.   The video is all over the internet.  Please let me know how this is even possible. 

Thanks,

Brad Fith

***

From: #####

To: Brad Fith

Hello Mr. Fith,

I received your email on June 14, 2011 regarding the issues you have with your toilet. This email is just to follow up with you so that I may further assist you regarding this matter.

Please let me know if there may be a better way to reach you so that we may reach a resolution as soon as possible.

Once again, thank you so much for contacting ####### and I look forward to communicating with you soon.

Sincerely,

######l #######
The ###### - Store Support Center ? Customer Service

Resolution  Expeditor

***

From: Brad Fith

Hello #####,

I just wanted to let you know that I have resolved this issue.  Thank you as you were very helpful but I simply visited the store in Wentzville.  The ideas your employee gave me regarding construction of a pie shooting apparatus and snake drop were very inventive.  Not only did they work like a charm but the video is new a smash hit on the Internet.  Could you please pass along my compliments to upper management for hiring such a friendly and helpful staff?  I believe his name was Chad or Matt or perhaps Bryan.  He was a tall, balding fellow with a goatee.

Thanks,

Brad Fith

***

From: #####

Hello Mr. Fith,

We appreciate you taking the time to forward your kind words! Our company was built on the core value of providing excellent customer service. We are glad to hear that you received this kind of service from this associate.

We will forward your comments to the Store Manager of the Wentzville ###### store. Thank you again, for taking the time to let us know that we exceeded your expectations.

If you need any further assistance or have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at the number below or reply to this email.

Sincerely,

###### #####


Resolution Expeditor
2