New ATM Ideas From a Maniac

From: Brad Fith 
To: ****, Lindsay

Subject: ATM Ideas

Hello Lindsay,

I have an interesting idea and I was told that you were the one I should contact. From what I understand, you work for the top company in the automated banking world so I'm sure that you can at least give me some insight or point me in the right direction.

I've come up with several ideas that would revolutionize the banking world!!! Most of them came to me in a dream I had a few months ago.  It was my first night at the mental hospital so I had a lot of time to reflect. Granted at the end of my dream the ATM ate my French poodle Larry, but the rest if the dream was very insightful. Larry is fine.

I have designed a prototype. It is an ATM that hands out money before you even tell it what to do.  Think of the time it will save! Basically, all you have to do is walk up to it and it will hand you $342.43. Your customer saves time and everyone is happy!! Then all you have to do is walk inside and let someone know the next time you go to the bank so they can keep track.

It will also shoot scalding hot ham and eggs at people wearing hooded swear shirts to help prevent theft.

Please let me know soon. If you give me the green light I can have designs on your desk by tomorrow morning.

Thanks,

Brad Fith

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From: Brad Fith 
Sent: Monday, June 16, 2014 2:26 PM
To: *****, Lindsay
Subject: Re: ATM Ideas

I also forgot to mention, my design includes many features that will be standard in your new line.

1. There will be a beer holder on the ATM. Customers will no longer have to sit their beers down while making a transaction.

2. There will be a nacho dispenser in case your customers are hungry. I understand that hot cheese and beef might cause some minor burns and get messy but I feel the risk is worth the reward.

3. The ATM will be on wheels in case there is an issue. I want to be able to wheel it in to bank personnel to correct the problems. The nacho dispenser in my prototype keeps getting jammed so this will come in handy.

I have a patent on all these so please do not use them without my permission. If you could let me know I'd appreciate it. I can send you all the pictures and designs for these new products.

Thanks Again,

Brad

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To Brad
From Matt ********

Hello Mr. Fith,

Please send me your resume.  Your ideas sound revolutionary and I will make every effort to get you in contact with our product design team.  I have often pondered what to do with my beer while using the Automated Teller Machine.  This idea could light this industry on fire. 

Regards,

Matt

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From Brad Fith
To ****, Matt; ****, Lindsay 

What? Is this not engineering? I don't want a job at your company.  I'm sure it's great and all but I haven't worked since I dismantled my 1984 Ford Escort and sold it for parts on eBay. I've got plenty of money.  I just don't have a lot of free time to be hanging out all day at ATM machines. I just want to get this done to make my life easier. 

I've attached the design specs for my new ATM. Can you please forward them to someone in engineering?  They're pretty complex so if they need any assistance have them call me. Once it's complete let me know and I'll let you know where to ship it to. 

Regards,

Brad

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From *****, Matt
To Brad Fith

Brad,


Allyson is our head of product engineering and development.  I copied her into this email so you can direct any inquiries regarding new products to her.  Thank you for your time and I wish you luck.

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From: Brad Fith 
To All 

Thank you Matthew. You've been very helpful. I thought I was just going to get the runaround like the time my brother Carlos convinced me that he was going to help me paint my fence.  Instead sold my television to an angry, middle aged manicurist for $25 and cut down my neighbors tree because he wanted to get some sun and he said it was getting in his way.

You have been much more helpful than him.

Allyson,

Did Matt forward you my design plans? If not I can resend them. I also just had another brilliant idea that can help us appeal more to the younger demographic. I'm not sure how the licensing would work but what do you think of the design?

Thanks for your time. Talk too you soon.


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