A Letter to a Yard Cleaning Service to Quote Cleaning Up After My Brother Carlos

To ######## Stl:

Hello Mr. *****,

I was wondering if you'd be willing to give me a price quote on an unusual situation.  Let me just start out by saying that I feel ridiculous even asking this question.

Here's the situation; my brother has always been an eccentric but his recent behavior has made me consider having him involuntarily committed. He spends pretty much everyday drinking whiskey and shooting his gun at bats in the backyard.  That's nothing new.  He's been doing that for years. Thank god we live in the suburbs so no one really notices. The real problem is that he has now taken to relieving his bowels in my front yard when he gets drunk.  He says it too hot to go inside to use the bathroom. It was fine the first few times but now the entire yard is covered in foul smelling land mines. I refuse to clean it up and every time I ask him about it he just gets mad then goes out and does it again. It's maddening!!!

Is this type of service something you can help me with? I'd be willing to pay top dollar given the circumstances.


Brad Fith



Interesting situation, but I'm afraid it's not the weirdest thing we have had to deal with.

I would quote it as a once per week with a very big dog which is $16 per week.

However, since you mention that he is drunk and shooting guns, that is not a situation I would put one of my Techs into.

Good luck.

K** ******
D****** STL

1-314-***-**** STL Office
1-800-***-**** National Call Center

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