A Job Inquiry Letter About a Beer Tasting Job

To: #######@ab.com

Subject: Job Opportunity

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to inquire about the prerequisites and proper channels to go through in order to become a professional beer taster. I realize this must be an extensive process, which is why I am applying now. A life long career has to start early!

One of the reasons I feel that I would be a perfect candidate is simply because I have a completely unbiased opinion. Being that I have never tasted beer, I would not be inclined make any prejudicial evaluations since I no basis for comparison.

Also, I have taken the liberty to apply for a legal name change to make my acceptance in the workplace easier. I feel Drinkey McDrunkey will be more of a beer taster who people can identify with and look to for support and morale.

Thank you in advance for any information you can provide. I anticipate hearing from you and look forward to the next step in this exciting process.

Brad Fith

***

From: "#######" <######jobs.com@##########.com>
Subject: RE: - Customer Comment

Brad,

Thank you for e-mailing #########. We appreciate you taking the time to visit our site and value your interest in our company. Most if not all of our beer tasters are brew masters from our breweries.

There are specific pre-requisites required to become a Brewmaster at #######. We recommend a Bachelor of Science degree in sciences applicable to brewing. May we also suggest contacting one of the following brewing schools for further assistance with your interest.

- Siebel Institute of Technology
- Master Brewers Association of the Americas
- The Center for Brewing Studies

Should you have any other questions or comments please don't hesitate to contact us. Again, Brad, thank you for e-mailing Anheuser-Busch and have a good day.

Your Friends at ###########

About This Site

Brad Fith started writing these letters in 2001 while working as a janitor for a comedy club in a St. Louis Suburb. Over the course of about 2 years, he'd spend a few hours a day using the club's stationary to write thousands of hard copy letters to countless celebrities, politicians, customer service departments, newsmakers and various other organizations and individuals that he found interesting or easy to anger.

He was of course fired. I wasn't there but I assume the conversation went like this, "You've cost me $10,000 in stationary and you're not even that good at cleaning toilets. Please leave before the police arrive."

Around this time his fiance left him for a his best friend, his comedy act was rejected in all 50 states and Brad discovered email. He more-or-less slowly turned into a full blown loon.

To make a long story short, enjoy this deceptively funny and subversive mayhem. These emails are REAL correspondence to REAL people. These are their genuine reactions to ridiculous questions, concerns, pointless stories and rants. All email addresses were previously published by the owner. Some names have been altered or deleted entirely.