To: ######@#########.com
Dear Ms. ######,
I am a St. Louis native, and I don't get to see the country as much as I would like. As a matter of fact, I have never left except for reasons of business. I am very much interested in taking a cruise with American Cruise Lines for a cruise sometime next month.
However, I have some requests.
I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. This makes it very difficult for me to travel. I would have to make certain requests to make my trip go as smoothly as possible.
However, I have some requests.
I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. This makes it very difficult for me to travel. I would have to make certain requests to make my trip go as smoothly as possible.
- Everyday at 3:14am central time I need someone to come to my door wearing a blue jacket and tell me that I do not have to worry about the color blue. He needs to be reassuring, have his hat cocked slightly to the side, and have really big hands.
- My name is Brad. I would like the crew to greet me as Alfred every third time we meet each other.
- I will be carrying around a baked potato. I will need every third steward or stewardess I see to be carrying .52 ounces of sour cream. I may not always ask for it, but it will help me to know that they have it.
- I will need an envelope slipped under the door at three random intervals daily. The envelop should contain a 3"x5" index card with the words "Make" hand written in the top right hand corner and the "same" typed in the bottom left Please notice the quotation marks and the capitalization.
- I would also like 1 gallon of fresh Sunkist orange juice (no pulp) per day delivered to my room for the first 72 hours. I need these delivered at 5:21pm central time. I will then need someone to come by my room six days after the last jug is delivered and remove them, still full, from around my bed. This should also occur at 5:21pm central time.
- I also, at no point, can see the water. It makes me very nervous. I would like to have a room with no ocean view and direct access to the engine room in case of emergency.
- My name is Brad. I would like the crew to greet me as Alfred every third time we meet each other.
- I will be carrying around a baked potato. I will need every third steward or stewardess I see to be carrying .52 ounces of sour cream. I may not always ask for it, but it will help me to know that they have it.
- I will need an envelope slipped under the door at three random intervals daily. The envelop should contain a 3"x5" index card with the words "Make" hand written in the top right hand corner and the "same" typed in the bottom left Please notice the quotation marks and the capitalization.
- I would also like 1 gallon of fresh Sunkist orange juice (no pulp) per day delivered to my room for the first 72 hours. I need these delivered at 5:21pm central time. I will then need someone to come by my room six days after the last jug is delivered and remove them, still full, from around my bed. This should also occur at 5:21pm central time.
- I also, at no point, can see the water. It makes me very nervous. I would like to have a room with no ocean view and direct access to the engine room in case of emergency.
I realize that these are unconventional demands but I hope we can work together. I will supply everything necessary for you crew to make it as easy on them as possible. Of course money is no object. Please e-mail me with details of your earliest possible cruise dates and what you could do to accommodate me and my disorder.
Sincerely,
Sincerely,
Brad Fith
***
From: "J######## ######" <######@###########s.com>
Good Luck in finding a cruise line to meet your needs. I may suggest a private charter boat.
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