A Letter to an Animal Psychic About an Unusual Owl Problem

To ****@********.com

Hi J*****,

I'm hoping you could give me a some input for a paper I am working on regarding the procedures for properly capturing and removing an owl.  I was just doing a little research via Google and your website popped up first so I thought I'd shoot you a line.  I live in the St. Louis area so I hope you'd be familiar with the native wildlife. I'm just wanting to understand the behavior patterns of a certain beast so I can better describe it in my writing.

My inspiration came a few weeks ago when I noticed a rather large owl perched in the tree across from my window. At first I thought it was really cool, like in all the Native American legends of the wise and powerful owl. Unfortunately the owl was not wise at all. Turns out he's an obnoxious and dangerous predator that has been trying to eat my French poodle Larry since he arrived in our neighborhood. To make a long story short I have been trying to get rid of him for quite sometime.

So far all of my efforts to remove the creature have failed. I spent the better part of an evening removing the trees from my yard hoping it would go away. It did not.  I think it just pissed him off. Plus my brother was not happy after one of the larger trees crushed his 1974 Dodge Dart. I have no idea where the owl is living now but it has since heightened it's efforts to procure Larry for a meal and hoots outside of my window keeping me awake all night. I've also set up several dozen traps around the property but was forced to take them down after I mistakenly leveled the shed.

Please let me know any information that might be relevant. I will of course provide the proper attribution.

Thanks,

Brad

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j*****@********.com

Hi Brad,

I can't really do a reading unless you have a headshot
of him/her where I can focus on the eyes.

Try this site   http://www.owlpages.com/

They have a piece of my artwork on their site,

but they are also "owl experts".

Good luck and keep a close eye on your pup!

Thanks, Janel

***

Hi J****,

Thank you for the quick response. The owl was again reigning down terror upon us last night. When I went out to photograph him the angry sky rodent swooped down and nearly decapitated poor Larry before flying off into the night. Luckily Larry was able to fend the bird off by rolling over and peeing on himself. 

Since I couldn't get a photograph of the owl I went ahead and drew a picture of the creature. Will this assist you in helping me find a solution to my problems. I'm sorry I'm not a very good artist. Please notice the blood around its talon and fang area. I included that so you know how dire the situation is. Let me know. 

Thanks,

Brad 

***

janel@theanimalpsychic.com

To Me

Hi Brad,

Very funny drawing.  Have you called animal control?

How about the forestry service?

Thanks, 

J****

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Hi J*****,

I would have called animal control but my brother burned that bridge along time ago when he released a few hundred rats at our local Denny's. It was an accident but our relationship with the organization has been strained ever since.  I didn't think of the Forestry Service but that is a good idea. I'll shoot them an email to see what they think.  I'll let you know how it turns out and send you a copy of my paper if I ever get the thing done.  I'm hoping it will be a story of conquest and triumph.  Although, if Larry is carted away to his untimely, grotesque death my prose will be quite somber.  If I can snap a picture of the predator I'll let you know. 

Thanks,

Brad

j****@********.com